Wedding at Cana: 2 Jewish Marriage Ritual`

A photo of an aperion and the bride

Before moving through this series, we need to understand the rituals around the 1st Century Jewish wedding practices.

Below, I have set out the process by which a bride and groom would become married.

It is unsurprising to see similarities between the stories found in the Gospels and the Jewish marriage rituals.

1 The Bridegroom’s Father Chooses the Bride

The first step is for the bridegroom’s father to find a bride for his son.

We first see this in Genesis, where Abraham sends his head servant to find a bride for Isaac.

Genesis 24 v 1-4

Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.”

2 The Bride Price

This was paid to the father of the bride to compensate for a loss of a worker and to show how much the bridegroom loved the bride.

3 The Betrothal

The first part of the marriage ceremony was the betrothal or engagement. It started at least twelve months before the actual wedding. Once the couple began the betrothal period, they were legally married, except they had not physical consummated the marriage.

At the betrothal ceremony, a marriage contract was made with the father of the bride. The contract included the bride price and other provisions that the bridegroom agreed to make for his new bride.

This is why Mary and Joseph were married, even though they had not gone through a wedding ceremony.

4 The Bride’s Consent

Although a bride was selected for a bridegroom, she had a say in the proposed marriage contract. In Genesis 24, we see Rebekah agrees to accept the marriage proposal. She was not press-ganged into the arrangement.

Genesis 24 v 57-58

Then they said, “Let’s call the young woman and ask her about it.” So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?”

“I will go,” she said.

5 Cup of the Covenant

After the terms of the betrothal was accepted, a cup of wine was shared to seal the marriage covenant. The bride and groom would drink from the same cup. A second cup of wine would be shared at the marriage ceremony.

6 Gifts for the Bride

During the time of the betrothal, gifts were given to the bride from the bridegroom.

7 Ritual Purification

Before the wedding, the bride must go through a purification ritual, where she is washed in water. Symbolically, after she comes out of the water, she no longer is under the authority of her father, but her husband.

8 Departure of the Bridegroom

Once the marriage covenant was sealed, the bridegroom left his bride to go to his father’s house to prepare a wedding chamber for her. He would be gone for up to twelve months. During this time, his wife-to-be would prepare herself to leave her parents’ home, to live with her husband’s family and become part of their household.

9 The Consecrated Bride

The bride was now set apart, consecrated, separated for her bridegroom.

10 Return of the Bridegroom

A bride would not know what day or hour her bridegroom would return and when he would take her to the wedding chamber. Also, the groom didn’t even know when he would go to claim his bride. The bridegroom’s father would decide when everything was ready for the wedding and when the bridal chamber was complete.

The bridegroom would usually came for their bride around midnight. Shofars (trumpets) would sound as he approached. This would give the bride a few moments to make final preparations before he came to her house.

The bride was then placed into an aperion or carriage with two poles and lifted up by four people.

11 The Huppah

The second half of the wedding ceremony is called the Huppah, or “the home-taking.” The bride in her aperion is taken to the Huppah. This was a special room built in the bridegroom’s father’s house.

The bride and groom would meet the father’s guests and then be taken to the bridal chamber where they would be alone for seven days. Here the marriage would be consummated.

The best man or “friend of the bridegroom” stayed outside the wedding chamber. Once the marriage had been consummated, the groom would tell the best man. He would then announce that the week long celebration could begin.

12 The Wedding Supper

After the seven days of celebrations, a feast would be laid before the couple and their guest. All the locals of the town would be invited too.

Moses and the Wedding Ceremony

We see the pattern of the wedding rituals in the story of the Children of Israel’s encounter with God on Mount Sinai.

God selected Israel as His bride.

Exodus 19:4

‘You have seen what I did to the Egyptians. You know how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself.’

God presented Israel with a wedding contract.

Exodus 19:5

Now if you will obey me and keep my covenant, you will be my own special treasure from among all the peoples on earth; for all the earth belongs to me.

Israel gave her consent to the marriage.

Exodus 19:7-8

So Moses returned from the mountain and called together the elders of the people and told them everything the LORD had commanded him. And all the people responded together, “We will do everything the LORD has commanded.” So Moses brought the people’s answer back to the LORD.

Israel was consecrated to her Lord.

Exodus 19:6,10

And you will be my kingdom of priests, my holy nation.’ This is the message you must give to the people of Israel.”

Then the LORD told Moses, “Go down and prepare the people for my arrival. Consecrate them today and tomorrow, and have them wash their clothing.

God invites Moses and the elders to ascend the cloud covered mountain, almost like a covered Huppah. God then reveals Himself to them.

Exodus 24 v1

Then the LORD instructed Moses: “Come up here to me, and bring along Aaron, Nadab, Abihu, and seventy of Israel’s elders. All of you must worship from a distance.

God and Israel have a marriage supper.

Exodus 24:11

And though these nobles of Israel gazed upon God, he did not destroy them. In fact, they ate a covenant meal, eating and drinking in his presence!

This is why, when Israel rejects God and worships other gods, the prophets compare this to adultery. Israel was spiritually married to God at Mt Sinai.

The Wedding at Cana

In this story, we see the celebration was three days into the Wedding Supper. The bride had been chosen, the price was paid, the year long engagement was over and the marriage had been consummated. The wedding was about to end. And this was when they realized they had run out of wine. I feel for the bridal party. After all that preparation and they ran out of wine, just before the end of the marriage ceremony.

Jesus is the Bridegroom

In Mark 2, Jesus refers to Himself as the Bridegroom.

Mark 2 v 18-20

Now John’s disciples and the Pharisees were fasting. Some people came and asked Jesus, “How is it that John’s disciples and the disciples of the Pharisees are fasting, but yours are not?” Jesus answered, “How can the guests of the bridegroom fast while he is with them? They cannot, so long as they have him with them. But the time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them, and on that day they will fast.

So if Jesus is the Bridegroom, who is the Bride? The Church is never explicitly called the ‘Bride of Christ’ in the New Testament, but there are verses which suggest this.

For example, in Ephesians, Paul writes that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church. This suggests the relationship between husbands and wives is similar to that of Christ and the Church, a marriage relationship.

Ephesians 5 v 25-29

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind, so that she may be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church

So where is the Church, the Bride, in this process of a marriage ceremony?

God chose the Bride for Jesus, the Church.

Ephesians 1 v 11

In him we were also chosen

The engagement has begun and the bride price was paid (the death of Jesus). Christians accept the proposal when they confess Jesus is Lord and believe it in their hearts.

Spiritual gifts were given to the bride. The cup of the covenant, the Eucharist, is shared. The Christian is washed and purified through the waters of baptism and is separated for Him.

The Bridegroom ascended into Heaven, and is preparing a place for His bride.

The Church is now waiting for their Bridegroom’s return. God the Father, the father of the bridegroom, has not yet said it is time for Jesus, the groom, to return for His bride, the Church.

[While reading this part, I can guess you are probably recalling Bible verses which link in with this narrative]

I will finish with the words of St John, ‘Come, Lord Jesus.’ (Revelation 22 v 20)